'My heartbreaking wait for IVF'

As the health minister announces an extra £1.5m a year to improve fertility services in Northern Ireland, Marie-Louise Connolly talks to one woman about her struggle to have a baby.

I found out I was pregnant, but unfortunately it ended up being an ectopic pregnancy, so that's how we realised there were problems.

It can take years for couples to conceive

We were referred to a specialist. They did tests and said it would be IVF that we would need, and from there it's just a very, very long waiting game. I am talking two years plus that I have been waiting and I still haven't been seen. It's dreadful really.

When I see a woman who is pregnant, I actually get very emotional, I find it emotionally draining.

We went privately to a clinic in Northern Ireland while waiting but, unfortunately, that didn't work, so we are still waiting on our NHS attempt. We are entitled to one cycle.

I don't think one is enough because if you are depending on that one it puts an awful lot of pressure on you for it to work, and I think that it should be at least three, like they have in parts of England.

When you go privately there is no waiting time, which is fantastic. The cost is £5,000 which is a lot of money which we didn't have and we are still trying to pay some of that off. So it's been very difficult.

Physically, it is very demanding. You are talking about drugs being pumped into your body daily, you are travelling down to the regional fertility centre three or four times a week, which is at least 30 miles each way.

Childless couples in NI get one IVF cycle on the NHS

I don't think people realise the amount of people who have infertility issues. I think people will be quite shocked.

When you go to the regional centre it can be quite busy. The nurses are great and all the staff but you could be sitting in the waiting room for a long time, just for one appointment. It can be standing room only.

It is an emotional roller coaster. Your feelings are going up and down constantly, you are worrying if it is going to be successful.

I would like to see counselling being made available locally so that you have someone to talk to to help you through the dark days. It is great that it's offered in Belfast but a lot of us can't get there.

In all honesty, it is heartbreaking. I can't really describe it in words. It is on your mind every day.

When you are seeing friends and other people with babies and you know that's what you want - it's just like a feeling of desperation.

E-mail this to a friend

Printable version