Music Live 2009

The most talked about stage of Middlesbrough Music Live 2006 was of course in comedy stage. It's only taken seven years, but finally Middlesbrough has caught up with every other festival and entered into the realm of diversity.

A haven for those bored senseless by the repetitive Indie that was belted down our ears all day, I found solace in the words of Jason Cook. Our compere for the evening.

His cutting wit and excellent one liners that knocked down our first heckler of the night were priceless. But I'm afraid unrepeatable on a BBC website.

Matt and Faron

Mat & Faron kicked off their set with an ode to smoking, which had touches of sheer brilliance. They then performed a hilarious song, a tribute to the Irish, in which Mat showed his true feelings, utilising his mic stand to great effect.

Mat & Faron bounce off each other brilliantly, and look like they belong together on stage, with their somewhat unkempt appearance.

Faron briefly left the stage, allowing Mat to do some solo standup, which I had seen before, and this to me was a nice interlude.

Faron also took to the mic on his own, with a stumbling, self-conscious routine, which had me in stitches.

When you see a comic pretending not to know what to say, sometimes you can blatantly tell they are putting on an act, but with Faron, he made it seem so genuine. The twosome finished off with a rap dressed as tramps, with the frankly genius line of 'Tramps in the house!....That's a contradiction!'

The White Chris Rock

Possibly the most complex comedy character I've ever seen. The character of The White Chris Rock (yes, expect a lot of swearing) is losely rolled up inside another character - Mick, a Geordie whose life has crumbled around him leaving him no other option but to take up comedy.

Pure stunning brilliance mixed with dark uncomfortable humour is probably the best way to describe this act. Certainly not for the faint hearted. Oh, and you might need some headache tablets afterwards.

Steffen Peddie

Typical jolly fat man, Steffen bounds on stage to tell us he's had a wee accident in the toilets. We let him off because we're nice like that.

A bit out of puff in the heat of the room, Steffen had us giggling through his set.

Die Clatterschenkenfeitermaus

Die Clatterschenkenfietermaus, on the other hand, were a completely different kettle of fish. Billed as 'Europe's Worst Pop Group' they certainly didn't fail to deliver, as their 'songs' were no more than a short loop or a brief stab of noise.

Of course, Die Clatterschenkenfietermaus are not a live band, they are a comedy act, and an interesting one at that.

I could almost swear that I have seen KarlKarl and Gunter before somewhere, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

Anyway, they kicked off with some audience participation, getting everybody in attendance to do a mexican wave, at which point they started insulting random people in the audience. This led to some pathetic drunken heckling, which led to said hecklers becoming Die Clatterschenkenfietermaus's playtoys for the evening.

Jason, sorry, KarlKarl, was in fine form, as was Gunter, as they acted out a mini play, using selected audience members (three guesses who?) as actors, totally humiliating them. Superb entertainment, and fantastic audience participation throughout. Whatever KarlKarl asked the audience to do, they did. And quite frankly, I was rather scared not to obey him.

Danny Deegan

Ending the show in fine form was Danny Deegan, a gangly bloke with a slightly sick sense of humour.

Being kicked out of the army for not being disciplined enough got one of the best laughs of the night, as Danny told us about the slogan used in a training video.

He also told us about the games he plays on his mates, being immature, and the best way to freak out someone on magic mushrooms - the use of a talking doll seems the best.